Hiding , just hiding . Hidden by the truth , cold hard truth . Studies are a burgh . I am not consistent in any of my studies and i see my week to Common Test jam packed with activities. All rounder activities , from working all the way to Chingay . I can do it , i can do it . You can do it , Darlene . Yes . You can !

I am going to mug my ass off till Common Test. No more sleeping in class , although I can help it . I finally did not sleep in Chemistry class. A great achievement , and Physics , im asking the teachers . So as POA . Im doing good , im going to stay back every day to just study for Common Test and proof to everyone that I can really do it .

Darlene , its your studies . Its your future . You make the choices , so set your mind and go for it. You can , i believe you can . To all who think they may not make it , think again.

Remember yesterday ? When I said horrible stuff about friends ? I take it all back . Yesterday I was not fully me . After a few sms-es with KakMar and Safiah , I now see myself as this selfish friend who cares only about my own feeling. I did not sit at their end of the chair , i did not care about theirs . Now , i regret. A whole lot of cries in one night , a whole lot of care . I love my friends , i love my friends , i love my friends . Like Mdm Baya ever said , you need friends to succeed. If i don't have mine around , i wont succeed . I love you guys and im so sorry for my selfish act towards you guys .

Suck my ass.

Have you ever felt that no friend is beside , in-front or at the back supporting you ?
Have you ever felt so sad that not one of the closest friends you have just forgets about you ?
You just feel alone. I do , right now . What I am feeling now , is what i feel. No one can change my doubts .

No one , appreciates you . No one , cares . No one , really enjoy being with you . No one . And when they read this , they are probably going to say " Darlene ni ..! " with that irritated tone of voice . I am sad , I am efffiing sad.

Truly , I am jealous ed of the messages , and all that misses and the group bond that all my other friends get while i don't . Maybe , you feel that you treated me fairly . But do I feel the fairness , you all simply don't care. I don't like it when people bail on me. I don't like it when I asked about an event and then I know about it . I don't like it . I really don't.

I just want you to leave me fucking alone . Don't bother having friends which just won't support you . I am happy with who I am with now . I am happy with my normal school friends . I just , i just feel ... un explainable . It just hurts so much , it hurts .

Now , the word F R I E N D becomes Redefined .
- or am I just too over reacting . While im typing this , tears are rolling rolling oh so smoothly on my cheeks off my face. Just like all those so called friends .

Not all friends are like this , i love my angels and i love haszirah and i really love farah . You rock my freaking ass out . With , the cold hard truth . Do not be jealoused or what so ever , just reflect on what you did to me . And what you did to others. Its not the same , i know im not as pretty im not that attractive . I know , but that doesnt mean i dont have a freaking heart.

SECONDARY THREE ADVENTURE CAMP !

i love love love love love the camp okay , even though my head is still spinning like Indiana Jones course , i still want to blog . Let me brief out the camp ?

; First day ,
Trekking up the mountain , extreme sports tower and the night walk .

Let me tell you , i never thought that i was afraid of heights . I thought it was just temporary fear but i stayed 15mins +/- at the tower thinking if i should go down and the classmates were freaking pissed. Lol , fearsome or what . And the stupid thing is that I ever did a higher leveled flying fox. -.- ! A big duhhhhhhh .
Oh , I really enjoyed all the stars up in the sky . Wow , you will never see tat kind of stars in Singapore. Seriously , there were like hundreds in a sky . I loved it alot alot alot .

; Second day ,
Mud crawl , Jetty jump , Indiana Jones , Low rope elements. Campfire .

Mud crawl was fuuuhhhh , PAIN ! Most of us have visible red scratches on our legs and arms . Wahseh , and it was all worth it after I jumped with Haszirah to the lake . Yay . We tried to do a 3/1 and a heart shape. And okayokay lah .
Indiana Jones was the best of the best , balancing each other was a tough one. Yes , i know im the cause of most of falls. lol. And we really bonded . Really ,helpfull classmates i have okay .
The campfire was sad , because one of my classmates was suffering from a sickness and we all really lost our mood . But she is okay now , and seriously , we really cried. But , after being comforted by the teachers and instructors , we are okay . And our classmate is okay too . So did our performance with a full heart.

;Third day
Area Cleaning , Goodbyes.

Having to clean the toilet was an experience. Fun , but nasty . Oh well . And i am so freaking sad to leave all that instructors. Hotstuff okay , macam mana tak sedih .

Okay i lost my voice thru the camp . Wow , i miss me singing . :( .
Juniors , i ensure you will love the camp and Putri told me about the you all punya melacca trip . Wah seh , scary or what .